Jeannette's Thoughts

02.08.09

2009-08-03T06:39:00.002-04:00

ATM
Current Mood: Tired, but going to the beach soon!
Wearing: pink Bongo shorts, Hello Kitty tee
Thinking: You're so confusing.
Hair: Up in a high pony tail
Listening to: Down - Jay Sean ft. Lil Wayne
Drinking: Water
Eating: Nothing
Talking to: Mom on the phone
Jewelery: None
Makeup: Au natural
Nails: Freshly cut
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I don't know why I do these things. I'm probably the stupidest person alive. Why do I allow myself to be treated this way? You don't make any sense. How can you love me but not trust me? Doesn't trust go hand and hand with love?

Isn't it that when you love someone you trust them with all different types of things, including your heart? Why did I have to fall in love with someone who makes no sense? You're the one who broke up with me. So why are you getting upset when I tell you I'm going to a party? Oh yeah, that's right, because you don't trust me.

It's so frustrating! I am going to the beach. Forget this.

- Jeannette

01.08.09

2009-08-01T13:03:00.000-04:00

ATM
Current Mood: Tired, but Satisfied
Wearing: navy American Eagle halter, jean Streetwear capris
Thinking: I need to be patient
Hair: Down, unbrushed
Listening to: Fashion - Lady GaGa
Drinking: Water
Eating: Leftover mushroom & olive pizza
Talking to: Sabrina on MSN
Jewelery: None, at the moment
Makeup: Au natural
Nails: Still needs to be cut
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You're so cute when you sleep. Your eyes are shut so peacefully, your lips only held together slightly. I was so tempted to kiss you and wake you up but you needed the rest. We were up late last night watching movies. It's funny, I'm not normally a movie watcher but with you, I'll watch anything.

It still feels like we're together. You still treat me the same. Shouldn't you be acting differently around me? You were the one who decided to end it, who decided that we should be apart. But yet, it's you who kisses me and tells me you love me. When we were walking last night you even told me that it still feels like we're together. You're philosophy is so stupid that it makes sense.

"Let's say you and your friend buys fries. Her fries are going to taste better than yours because they're her fries. Does that make sense? You want what doesn't belong to you, and the more you want it, the more you appreciate it when you get it.."

Patience is key. You're not an easy case to crack, as cliche as that sounds.

Love always, Jeannette

07.31.09

2009-07-31T12:05:00.000-04:00

ATM
Current Mood: Confused
Wearing: green Hollister dress
Thinking: I wish he would understand
Hair: Down
Listening to: Falling Down - Space Cowboy
Drinking: Coca Cola
Eating: Sesame Bagel with Butter
Talking to: Sam on MSN
Jewelery: Bebe necklace, Amethyst ring
Makeup: Au natural
Nails: No polish, in need of cutting
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I've always been the fairy tale type, the type who believed that if a guy and a girl loved each other, they should be together and that should be enough. If they truly loved each other, they could withstand anything that came their way, no matter what it was. Maybe I was blinding myself. I know that we still love each other, two years of love does not just go away in one week. That's how long it's been, a week since you ended it with me.

July 25th, 2009, a day that I will never forget. The day that reality hit me, that love sometimes is just not enough, no matter how you both try. I'm not angry at you, I would never be mad at you. You did the best you could, we both did. I just wish that we were still together. Nothing seems the same without you. Sure, you still call me and we still spend time together, but it's not the same. You don't say "I love you" when you hang up the phone anymore.

I know this has to be hurting you as much as it's hurting me. I can feel it in your hug. I can feel the tension before we hang up the phone. I know you want to tell me you love me, you're just too stubborn to admit it.

Or maybe I'm too selfish. I want you still even though we obviously need this time apart. They say being apart makes the heart grow stronger. I just hope that you don't forget about me, because there is no way in hell that I am going to forget about you.

My only hope is that we will be together again. I just have to be patient and not try to rush into anything. I can't force you to be with me and I have to respect your wishes for us to be apart. I just hope that I don't have to wait too long. I hope that I am not waiting in vain.

Love always, Jeannette